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Sunday School Lessons?? :)
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Sunday School Lessons?? :)
Posted by
PEGASUS
(moderator) 19 Oct 2006 9:46am
STORY OF ELIJAH
The Sunday school teacher was carefully explaining the story of
Elijah the Prophet and the false prophets of Baal. She explained
how Elijah built the altar, put wood upon it, cut a steer in pieces,
and laid it upon the altar. And then, Elijah commanded the people of
God to fill four barrels of water and pour it over the altar. He
had them do this four times "Now, asked the teacher, "Can anyone in
the class tell me why the Lord would have Elijah pour water over the
steer on the altar?" A little girl in the back of the room started
waving her hand, "I know! I know!" she said, "To make the gravy!"
LOT 'S WIFE
The Sunday School teacher was describing how Lot 's wife
looked back and turned into a pillar of salt, when little Jason interrupted,
"My Mummy looked back once, while she was driving," he announced
triumphantly, "and she turned into a telephone pole!"
GOOD SAMARITAN
A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the
Good Samaritan, in which a man was beaten, robbed and left for dead.
She described the situation in vivid detail so her students would
catch the drama. Then, she asked the class, "If you saw a person lying
on the roadside, all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?" A
thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence, "I think I'd throw up."
DID NOAH FISH?
A Sunday school teacher asked, "Johnny, do you think Noah
did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark ?" "No," replied Johnny. "How
could he, with just two worms?"
HIGHER POWER
A Sunday school teacher said to her children, " We have
been learning how powerful kings and queens were in Bible times. But,
there is a higher power. Can anybody tell me what it is?" One
child blurted out, "Aces!"
MOSES AND THE RED SEA
Nine-year-old Joey, was asked by his mother what he had learned
in Sunday school. "Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses
behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of
Egypt . When he got to the Red Sea , he had his army build a pontoon
bridge and all the people walked across safely. Then, he radioed
headquarters for reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the
bridge and all the Israelites were saved." "Now, Joey, is that
really what your teacher taught you?" his mother asked. "Well, no,
Mom. But, if I told it the way the teacher did, you'd never believe it!"
THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD
A Sunday School teacher decided to have her young class memorize
one of the most quoted passages in the Bible; Psalm 23. She gave the
youngsters a month to learn the verse. Little Rick was excited about
the task -- but, he just couldn't remember the Psalm. After much
practice, he could barely get past the first line. On the day that
the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in front of the congregation, Ricky was so nervous. When it was his turn, he stepped
up to the microphone and said proudly, "The Lord is my Shepherd, and that's all I need to know."
Church Smiles
There was a very gracious lady who was mailing an old
family Bible to her brother in another part of the country. "Is there anything
breakable in here?" asked the postal clerk. "Only the Ten Commandments," answered the lady.
While driving in Pennsylvania , a family caught up to an
Amish carriage. The owner of the carriage obviously had a sense of
humor, because attached to the back of the carriage was a hand printed
sign... "Energy efficient vehicle: Runs on oats and grass. Caution: Do
not step in exhaust.
Sunday after church, a Mom asked her very young daughter
what the lesson was about. The daughter answered, "Don't be scared,
you'll get your quilt." Needless to say, the Mom was perplexed. Later in
the day, the pastor stopped by for tea and the Mom asked him what
that morning's Sunday school lesson was about. He said "Be not
afraid, thy comforter is coming."
Give me a sense of humor, Lord,
The grace to see a joke,
To get some humor out of life,
And pass it on to other folk.
Posted by
purple_dragon13
24 Oct 2006 10:28am
In the school nativity play one year the three kings shuffled up to Mary the first king declared loudly "I bring gold" the second followed with "I bring myrrh" the the third kid stepped forward and said "Frank sent this"
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