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Things To Ponder
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Things To Ponder
Posted by PEGASUS (moderator) 29 Nov 2007 5:35pm     


Things to ponder

Why isn't "palindrome" spelled the same way backwards?

Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?

You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?

Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?

If you have your finger touching the rearview mirror that says -- "objects in mirror are closer than they appear", how can that be possible?

Ponder this
Posted by Joker (TD) 30 Nov 2007 11:50am     


Why do we drive on a parkway but park on a drive way?
If air travel is so damn safe why do you always end up at the terminal.
Why does a woman have a bra but a pair of panties?
If the automated elevator says "1st floor going up - when you get off will you still be on the 1st floor?
Gotta love the way we think.
JOKER.

Re: Things to ponder,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Posted by Redjag (TD) 1 Dec 2007 7:26pm     


I'm entertained you two,,,,,,,tyvm

Pondering #1
Posted by Moojus (VIP) 3 Dec 2007 2:20pm     


1. Why do suits go in a garment bag and garments go into a suitcase?

2. How do you refer to a male ladybug called?

3. If it’s true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

4. Since mothers here feed their babies with tiny spoons and forks, do Chinese mothers use toothpicks?

5. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn’t zigzag?

6. Why don’t we call sunny days undercast?

7. Why do ravel and unravel mean the same thing?

8. Why do flammable and inflammable mean the same thing?

9. What’s the speed of dark?

10. How come you don’t ever hear about gruntled employees?

11. Is it true cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

12. Whose cruel idea was it for the word “lisp” to have an “s” in it?

13. How come abbreviated is such a long word?

14. If it’s zero degrees outside today and it’s supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

15. If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?

16. Is it OK to use the AM radio after noon?

17. Why is Cream of Wheat not a soup?

18. Is Mother Nature married to Father Time?

19. Are all Kellogg cereals other than Special K only average?

20. What hair color do they put on the driver’s license of a bald man?What hair color do they put on the driver’s license of a bald man?

More to come

Pondering #2
Posted by Moojus (VIP) 3 Dec 2007 2:26pm     


1. When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?

2. Why didn’t Noah just swat those two mosquitoes?

3. Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

4. Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

5. Why is it called tourist season if we can’t shoot at them?

6. Why do you need a driver’s license to buy liquor when you can’t drink and drive?

7. Why isn’t phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

8. Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

9. Since there are flotation devices on planes, why aren't there parachutes on boats/ship?

10. Why are cigarettes sold at gas stations where smoking is prohibited?

11. If they squeeze olives to get olive oil, how do they get baby oil?

12. Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of a drive-up ATM?

13. What would Geronimo say if he jumped out of an airplane?

14. Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

15. If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

16. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

17. Why do funeral homes charge so much and blame it on the cost of living?

18. If chocolate chip cookies are made with real chocolate, what are girl scout cookies made with?

19. How do you know when invisible ink runs out?

20. A day without sunshine is like, well, night.

More to come!

Pondering #3
Posted by Moojus (VIP) 3 Dec 2007 2:36pm     


1. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

2. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

3. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

4. If you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass.

5. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

6. It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in laboratory rats.

7. I wished the buck stopped here; I could use a few.

8. One reason to smile is that every seven minutes of every day, someone in an aerobics class pulls a hamstring.

9. Every time I think about exercise, I lie down until the thought goes away.

10. God put me on earth to accomplish a certain number of things; Right now I am so far behind that I will live forever.

11. It’s frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.

12. If time is a great healer why is it a lousy beautician.

13. Age doesn’t always bring wisdom. Sometimes age comes alone.

14. Why do round pizzas come in square boxes?

15. If the sign says "Keep Off the Grass", how did it get there?

16. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

17. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

18. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

19. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

20. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

More to Come!

11.

Pondering #4
Posted by Moojus (VIP) 3 Dec 2007 2:48pm     


1. How can you tell if bagpipes are out of tune?

2. Did Pete Seeger learn to play the banjo to impress girls?

3. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

4. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?

5. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?

6. Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?

7. Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?

8. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?

9. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?

10. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?

11. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?

12. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

13. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

14. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

15. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

16. Why is quicksand so slow?

17. Can you really 'act naturally'?

18. How can you be a 'little pregnant'?

19. If I as a Christian says 'thank God', what does and atheist say?

20. How can there be 'current history'? It has not happened yet.

More to Come!

Pondering #5
Posted by Moojus (VIP) 3 Dec 2007 3:05pm     


1. When dry ice melts, do you get dry water?
2. If the landfill is filled, does it refuse refuse?
3. Why are boxing rings square?
4. Why do writers write, but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce, and hammers don't ham
5. Why can you make amends but not one amend?
6. Why can you comb through annals of history but never a single annal?
7. Why do we recite at a play and play at a recital?
8. Why do we say a house “burns up” when it actually burns down?
9. Why do we say the alarm clock "goes off" when it actually goes on?
10. Did you realize the human race isn't a race at all?
11. Why do we wind up a watch to get it started, but when we wind up an essay, we end it?
12. Why do “quite a lot” and “quite a few” mean the same?
13. What was the best thing before sliced bread?
14. Why does your nose run and your feet smell?
15. How do you draw a blank?
16. Why is monosyllabic such a long word?
17. Why is it when two planes almost collide it's called a 'near miss'. Shouldn't it be called a 'near hit'?
18. Ever notice that PRICE and WORTH mean about the same thing, but priceless and worthless are opposites?
19. If the Internet has no boundaries, then why do we need Windows, or Gates?
20. If toast falls butter side down and cats land on their feet, what happens
when you put a slice of bread (butter side up) on a cats back?

Pondering #6
Posted by Moojus (VIP) 3 Dec 2007 3:13pm     


1. If you only have one eye can you still get double vision?
2. Do blondes really know that they have more fun?
3. If you expect the unexpected, wouldn't the unexpected be expected?
4. Why is it called a MISSile if it was made to hit things?
5. If you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant...what do you do?
6. Who do you suppose was the first person to think "That cow over there has those
thingies hanging down. Think I'll pull on 'em and drink whatever comes out"
7. If "X" marks the spot...how come women have a "G" spot?
8. Why do they call it a building if its already built?
9. Where does the white go when snow melts?
10. Exactly where is "the road less traveled"?
11. If Snickers really satisfies, why do they make a king size bar?
12. If someone is sent to prison he/she becomes a prisoner, but does someone sent to jail become a jailor?
13. Why are stairs called 'stairs' when inside, but when you're outside they're called 'steps' ?
14. If quitters never win and winners never quit, what smart guy came up with the saying "Quit while you are ahead"?
15. Why do teachers need answer books?
16. I see that Christmas lights say indoor/outdoor, where else are we going to use them?
17. If 'practice makes perfect' and 'nobodies perfect', why bother practicing?
18. Why do people yell heads up when something is flying towards your head....do they want you to get hit in the face?
19. What's another word for synonym?
20. When you open a new bag of cotton balls, are you supposed to throw the top one away?
21. Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor but book publishers aren't afraid to have a Chapter 11?
22. Why do they sell a pound cake that only weighs 12 ounces?
23. Why is it so hard to remember how to spell mnemonic?
24. Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
25. If 24 hr. stores are open all the time, why are locks on the doors?
26. Did Adam and Eve have navels?


That's all for me!

Reply,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Posted by Redjag (TD) 3 Dec 2007 10:13pm     


OMG !!!! lol

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