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HELP WANTED, THE IDEAL MOM :
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It's now:   Oct 23, 7:22am EST

HELP WANTED, THE IDEAL MOM :
Posted by gcuser1 9 May 2004 1:27am
    


Wanted- Easygoing , relaxed, loving type to care for infant. Should enjoy rocking, cuddling, be able to sit patiently for 20-minute feedings every three or four hours. Must be a light sleeper, early riser. No degree necessary.

Job description changes at the 18 month period.

Must be an athlete in top condition to watch over tireless toddler. Needs quick reflexes, boundless energy, infinite patience. ESP helpful. Must be able to drive, cook, phone, work despite constant distractions. Would consider pediatric nurse with Olympic background.

More advancement at another 18 months

At this point must be expert in early childhood education, to provide stimulating, loving creative individualized learning environment. Should at this time be experienced in art, music, and recreation. Two hours off five days a week when nursery school is in session.

Job stability improves somewhat when the child is between 6 and 12. If you have made it this far you will find it much easier to cope now.

Must be an expert in play at this stage. Willing to be a room mother, block mother, and public relations skills needed for dealing with teachers, PTA officers and other parents. Must like mud, insect collecting, pets and the neighbor's kids.

Job description changes again at the age of 13 or 14, must be ready for new challenges.

At this point must move up to adolescent psychology, with experience in large quantity cooking. Tolerance is a must ! Danger of hearing loss due to this stage, must provide own earplugs.

At 18 years, you have ample time now to take on another job. You will be needed to supply money, clothes, music, and wheels for the college student. Your advise is no longer needed.

For all those mothers out there who have gone the distance,
And all those who are still in the race,
We commend you!!!

Today is your day.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!!





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