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The Guys' Rules
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The Guys' Rules
Posted by
webmaster
21 May 2004 4:13pm
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally,
The guys' side of the story.
(I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear 'the rules' from the female side. Now here are the rules from
the male side. These are our rules!
Please note... these are all numbered '1'
ON PURPOSE!
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up,
put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining
about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the
tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of
it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints
do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In
fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't
expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the
ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want
it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it
yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We
have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say nothing,' we will act like
nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an
answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is
fine...Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared
to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster
trucks.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the
couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like
camping.
Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger
laugh!!
can't wait
Posted by
(VIP) 30 Jul 2004 12:50am
i can't wait to give this message to the most unique species on the planet(the woman), i've been trying to figure how to get this across to them for toooooo long!
Dude...
Posted by
30 Jul 2004 2:02am
That's awesome! I just showed it all to my lady, hopefully it will make our relationship better. If all women followed these rules there would never be fights. He should have added this:
1. If it is not a tool, sports-related, electronic entertainment, or food; do not buy it.
Zero
I approve this message.
Posted by
17 Sep 2004 1:15am
INDEED
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