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Things Learned From Children
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Things Learned From Children
Posted by
PEGASUS
(VIP) 10 Sep 2004 8:49am
The following came from an anonymous
Mother in Austin, Texas:
Things I've learned from my Children (honest & no kidding):
1. A king size waterbed holds enough water
to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and
run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3. A 3-year old's voice is louder than 200 adults
in a crowded restaurant.
4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the
motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound
boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape
It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can,
to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5. You should not throw baseballs up when the
ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat,
you have to throw the ball up a few times before
you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't
stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words
'uh oh,' it's already too late.
8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9. A six-year old can start a fire with a flint rock even
though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract
of a 4-year old.
11. Play dough and microwave should not be used
in the same sentence.
12. Super glue is forever.
13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming
pool you still can't walk on water.
14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15. VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even
though TV commercials show they do.
16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.
19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on.
Plastic toys do not like ovens.
20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.
21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not
make earthworms dizzy.
22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24. The mind of a 6-year old is wonderful.
Great
Posted by
Kaupanger
(VIP) 10 Sep 2004 10:44am
Although I've seen this before, it certainly doesn't harm to see it again. I get real pleasure out of reading things like this (the serious bits in your column too). As regards your most recent riddles: I know I've heard the first one somewhere, but I'll be blowed if I can remember where. The only answer I could come up with wasn't much to my liking, so I'm keeping it a secret. Your second one had me completely stumped until the next day when I had to make a few phone calls and had a sudden revelation.
Thanks for all the 'entertainment'.
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