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Christmas Partys over but New Year Coming Up
Posted by
PEGASUS
(VIP) 26 Dec 2004 8:27pm
Holiday Eating Tips
1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots
on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the
Holiday spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave
immediately. Go next door, where they're serving
rum balls.
2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly.
Like fine single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's
even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can't find it
any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares
that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as
if you're going to turn into an 'eggnog-aholic' or
something. It's a treat. Enjoy it!!!! Have one for me.
Have two. It's later than you think.
3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the
whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone.
Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes.
Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.
4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made
with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother?
It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.
5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an
effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a
Holiday parties are to eat other people's food for free.
Lots of it.
6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between
now and New Year's. You can do that in January when
you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps,
which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying
a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.
7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table,
like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa,
position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many
as you can before becoming the center of attention.
They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind,
you're never going to see them again.
8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat.
Have a slice of each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have
two apples and one pumpkin.
Always have three.
When else do you get to have more than one dessert?
9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded
with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all
cost. I mean, have some standards.
10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave
the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention.
Reread tips: start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.
party
Posted by
(VIP) 26 Dec 2004 9:44pm
You are a nut peg...always enjoy your posts
To the letter
Posted by
Kaupanger
(VIP) 27 Dec 2004 8:02am
Thanks for the most welcome advice, Peg. Have followed it to the letter. It has improved ny eyesight no end (see at least three of everything now) and those sweat pants Aunt Letitia bought for her pet elephant now fit a treat. Only problem has been people wondering what I'm smiling at.
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