Main Forum
| Post Reply
|
CHILDREN AND THE CHURCH
|
|
Play gin-rummy tournaments online
|
| It's now: Oct 22, 3:31am EST |
CHILDREN AND THE CHURCH
Posted by
PEGASUS
(VIP) 24 Apr 2005 3:57pm
A little boy was attending his first wedding.
After the service, his cousin asked him, 'How many women can a man marry?'
'Sixteen,' the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly.
'How do you know that?'
'Easy,' the little boy said.
'All you have to do is add it up, like the Bishop said:
4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer.'
º°'°º?o,,,,o?º°'°º?o?º°'°º?o,,,,o?º°'°º?o?º°'°º?>
After a church service on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced to his mother, 'Mom, I've decided to become a minister When I grow up.'
'That's okay with us, but what made you decide that?'
'Well,' said the little boy, 'I have to go to church on Sunday anyway, and I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell, than to sit and listen.'
?º°'°º?o,,,,o?º°'°º?o?º°'°º?o,,,,o?º°'°º?o?º°'°º?
A 6-year-old was overheard reciting the Lord's Prayer at a church service: 'And forgive us our trash passes, as we forgive those who passed trash against us.'
?º°'°º?o,,,,o?º°'°º?o?º°'°º?o,,,,o?º°'°º?o?º°'°º?
A boy was watching his father, a pastor, write a sermon. 'How do you know what to say?' he asked.
'Why, God tells me.'
'Oh, then why do you keep crossing things out?'
?º°'°º?o,,,,o?º°'°º?o?º°'°º?o,,,,o?º°'°º?o?º°'°º?
A little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on and on. Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered,
'Mommy, if we give him the money now, will he let us go?'
?º°'°º?o,,,,o?º°'°º?o?º°'°º?o,,,,o?º°'°º?o?º°'°º?
After the christening of his baby brother in church, little Johnny sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked him three times what was wrong.
Finally, the boy replied, 'That priest said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, and I want to stay with you guys!'
?º°'°º?o,,,,o?º°'°º?o?º°'°º?o,,,,o?º°'°º?o?º°'°º?
Terri asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures of their favorite Bible stories. She was puzzled by Kyle's picture, which showed four people on an airplane, so she asked him which story it was meant to represent. The Flight to Egypt, was his reply.
Pointing at each figure, Ms. Terri said, 'That must be Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus. But who's the fourth person?'
'Oh, that's Pontius - the pilot.
? º°'°º?o,,,,o?º°'°º?o?º°'°º?o,,,,o?º°'°º?o?
The Sunday School Teacher asks, 'Now, Johnny, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?'
'No sir,' little Johnny replies,
'I don't have to. My Mom is a good cook.'
?º°'°º?o,,,,o?º°'°º?o?º°'°º?o,,,,o?º°'°º?
A college drama group presented a play in which one character would stand on a trap door and announce, 'I descend into hell!'
A stagehand below would then pull a rope, the trapdoor would spring, and the actor would drop from view.
The play was well received. When the actor playing the part became ill, another actor who was quite overweight took his place. When the new actor announced, 'I descend into hell!' the stagehand pulled the rope, and the actor began his plunge, but became hopelessly stuck. No amount of tugging on the rope could make him descend.
One student in the balcony jumped up and yelled: 'Hallelujah! Hell is full!'
?º°'°º?o,,,,o?º°'°º?o?º°'°º?o,,,,o?º°'°º?
Pastor Dave Charlton tells us, 'After a worship service at First Baptist Church in Newcastle, Kentucky, a mother with a fidgety seven-year old boy told me how she finally got her son to sit still and be quiet. About halfway through the sermon, she leaned over and whispered, 'If you don't be quiet, Pastor Charlton is going to lose his place and will have to start his sermon all over again!'
It worked.'
?º°'°º?o,,,,o?º°'°º?o?º°'°º?o,,,,o?º°'°º?o?º°'°º?
This is the best one. A little girl was sitting on her grandfather's lap as he read her a bedtime story.
From time to time, she would take her eyes off the book and reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek. She was alternately stroking her own cheek, then his again.
Finally she spoke up, 'Grandpa, did God make you?'
'Yes, sweetheart,' he answered, 'God made me a long time ago.'
'Oh,' she paused, 'Grandpa, did God make me too?'
'Yes, indeed, honey,' he said, 'God made you just a little while ago.'
Feeling their respective faces again, she observed,
'God's getting better at it, isn't he?'
Reply to this topic
|
Play gin-rummy tournaments online
At GameColony.com you can play games of skill only -- play for free or play for $prizes!.
According to the statutes of most states in the United States, gambling is defined as: "risking something of value upon the outcome of a contest of chance". (Also see No Gambling!). The skill (as opposed to chance) is predominant in games of skill. Playing games of skill for $prizes, therefore, has nothing to do with gambling as it is not a contest of chance -- the more skillful player will win far more often. The chance element of a 'gamble' is either insignificant or missing. When players compete in tournaments or games of skill for $prizes -- it is "competitive entertainment" rather then "gambling". The more skilled winner will always win more matches, tournaments and $prizes.
|
|
