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having children - easy as 1, 2, 3
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having children - easy as 1, 2, 3
Posted by
utahma
(VIP) 10 May 2005 5:36pm
YOUR CLOTHES:
1st child: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
2nd child: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd child: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular cothes.
PREPARING FOR THE BIRTH:
1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that last time breathing didn't do a thing.
3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.
THE LAYETTE:
1st baby: You pre-wash newborn clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.
2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?
WORRIES:
1st baby: At the first sign of distress - a whimper, a frown - you pick up the baby.
2nd baby: You pick up the baby when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.
PACIFIER:
1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.
2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with juice from the baby's bottle.
3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.
DIAPERING:
1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour, whether they need it or not.
2nd baby: You change their diaper every 2 to 3 hours, if needed.
3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain.
ACTIVITIES:
1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.
2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.
GOING OUT:
1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times.
2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.
3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.
AT HOME:
1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.
SWALLOWING COINS:
1st child: You rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.
2nd child: You carefully watch for the coin to pass.
3rd child: You deduct it from his allowance!
DEFINITION OF GRANDCHILDREN: God's reward for allowing your children to live.
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