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If My Body Were a Car
Posted by
PEGASUS
(VIP) 10 Sep 2005 9:21am
If my body were a car, this is the time I would be thinking about
trading it in for a newer model.
I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish and my paint
job is getting a little dull, but that's not the worst of it.
My fenders are too wide to be considered stylish. They were once
as sleek as a little MG; now they look more like an old Buick.
My seat cushions have split open at the seams. My seats are sagging.
Seat belts? I gave up all belts when Krispy Cremes opened a shop
in my neighborhood!
Air bag's? Forget it. The only bags I have these days are under my
eyes. Not counting the saddlebags, of course.
I have soooooo many miles on my odometer.
Sure, I've been many places and seen many things, but when's the
last time an appraiser factored life experiences against depreciation?
My headlights are out of focus and it's especially hard to see things
up close. My traction is not as graceful as it once was. I slip and slide
and skid and bump into things even in the best of weather.
My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins. It takes me hours to
reach my maximum speed. My fuel rate burns inefficiently.
But here's the worst of it, almost every time I sneeze, cough or
sputter.... either my radiator leaks or my exhaust backfires!
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