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Husband Speak Part TWO  |
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Husband Speak Part TWO
Posted by
utahma
(VIP) 11 Feb 2006 11:25am
'Will you marry me?' Really means....
'Both my roommates have moved out, I can't find the washer, and there is no more peanut butter.'
'Go ask your mother.' Really means....
'I am incapable of making a decision.'
'I do help around the house.' Really means....
'I once put a dirty towel in the laundry basket.'
'Hey, I've got my reasons for what I'm doing.' Really means....
'And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon.'
'I can't find it.' Really means....
'It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless.'
'What did I do this time?' Really means....
'What did you catch me at?'
'She's one of those rabid feminists.' Really means....
'She refused to make my coffee.'
'I heard you.' Really means....
'I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me.'
'You know I could never love anyone else.' Really means....
'I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse.'
'You look terrific.' Really means....
'Oh, God, please don't try on one more outfit. I'm starving.'
'I brought you a present.' Really means....
'It was free ice scraper night at the ball game.'
'I missed you.' Really means....
'I can't find my sock drawer, the kids are hungry and we are out of toilet paper.'
'I'm not lost. I know exactly where we are.' Really means....
'No one will ever see us alive again.'
'We share the housework.' Really means....
'I make the messes, she cleans them up.'
'Of course I like it, honey, you look beautiful.' Really means....
'Oh, man, what have you done to yourself?'
'It sure snowed last night.' Really means...
'I suppose you're going to nag me about shoveling the walk now.'
'I don't need to read the instructions.' Really means....
'I am perfectly capable of screwing it up without printed help.'
'I'll take you to a fancy restaurant.' Really means....
'This time we won't use the drive-thru window.'
husband speak
Posted by
11 Feb 2006 2:35pm
personally I find these post offensive to men/husbands. In other words, it is men 'bashing'
ur kidding right?
Posted by
utahma
(VIP) 12 Feb 2006 5:28pm
Hon I didn't mean for it to sound like men 'bashing'.....I am married, and I love my husband very much. And quite frankly I have seen similar jokes, geared toward WOMEN of course, and I find them hysterical, because of hidden truths within the joke (thats the point I think). In fact, I've had people act offended at my blonde jokes, when I am a NATURAL BLONDE myself......we all have to laugh at ourselves, so don't take these personally. I am never going to please everyone, someone will always take things wrong I guess.....whether it is a blond, or a lawyer, or a man, or perhaps your pet? Unless you are the perfect man AND perfect husband (of which I happen to know there are none, nor are there perfect women or wives), you have to admit that one or two of these are somewhat cute or funny.
I will research and find a women-bashing joke to post in here, just for you, because I think MOST of the readers here have a sense of humor and may find it funny as well Hopefully this will prove to you that I didn't intend on ofending anyone, and that I, too, can laugh at myself .
Have a super day!
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